Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Hawaiian Birds

Haiiiiiiiiil Satan!!!!! Hail the demon Smm Smm!!!!

Good Afternoon readers of which there are probably none. I finally have a morning off! I was able to make my own breakfast and my own lunch without spending money because I'm always on the go. My breakfast consisted of satanic eggs and ham and all washed down with a satanic cherry smoothie!!! 🍒🍳!

While I was making breakfast, I put on some old cartoon classics. I have tons of old cartoons. It's all I watch. It's really all I care to watch. I have a hen in the oven for lunch time and breakfast was complete. I sit down in my big blue chair and scarf down my food. In the middle of it, a cartoon called Hawaiian Birds comes on. I wasn't exactly familiar with this one, but I'm watching. Now before I go on with my story, I hear a lotta tripe about how relationships back in the day were so much more modest and stronger. There was always a mommy and daddy. Every child was always legitimate. Bleh bleh bleh. Mind you, this cartoon was made in the early 1940s.

On with Hawaiian Birds,

Two birds in vacation clothes, male and female are in love. They are flying over Hawaii with hearts in their eyes. Just so in love. Maybe even newly weds. There's some cheesy Hawaiian love song playing. They are just sooooo fucking IN LOVE!!!!! No one in the world exists but them. They finally stop and perch on a lovely tree. This is the tree they decide to build their vacation nest or home I suppose. They start the nest together all in love and shit. They gather parts. The female bird doesn't help for too long. She's in her little hula outfit just dancing and loving the weather. The male bird just keeps on building. All he can think of is his beautiful bird girl wife or whatever the fuck. In the short distance, a troupe of bigger birds zoom in. The leader is in fancy clothes and his suitcase reads BIG CITY ORIOLES. So obviously he's from the city. All big and rich. He sees the female bird dancing around. He likes what he sees. A nice piece of tail feather. So he flies over and lands on the branch. She's all taken aback by this rich ass fancy bird man. He's all like "How'd you like to join our troupe?" The female bird didn't even think about it. She was all quick to up and leave her man, who is not aware of what's going on because he is still building. She pulls a little leaf off the tree and writes Gone North. Goodbye. That's all. Just "Bye lousy asshole. I'm off with my new rich city guy to get money. Bye loser!" Pitiful bitch huh? She takes off with The Big City Orioles.

The male love bird has completed the beautiful love nest only to find that his bride is gone. He looks around the branch and finds the note she left. He is soooo heartbroken. How could she do this shit!??? He doesn't like the idea. He wants his woman. He wants what's his. So what does this mook do? He flies all the way north for her bird ass.

Up North in the city, it's snowing everywhere! It's night time. Blizzard and windy. Burrrrrrr!!!! Meanwhile at The Big City Orioles Night Club, little miss trick ass chick, is being thrown out of the club by the big rich guy. He kicks her right in the snow and she only has a skirt on with no top. I wonder what kinda joint that was lol. Anyway, she knocks on the door and he opens it, and she pleads with her life for him to let her back in. She even bats her birdie eyes and he just throws her right back in the snow. Then he slams the door again. She knocks and pleads once more, and he repeats and throws her ass further out in the snow. All is lost for her. She so cold and lonely. She stumbles to the edge of a building. She pulls out a picture of her husband bird. She kisses it several times and starts crying. She knows she screwed up. So she ties her wings together somehow and goes to drop off the building twice, but CHICKENS out lol. Before a third attempt, the good male bird stops her. Oh she's sooooooooooo happy to see him again!!! She's so sorry and will never do it again. They fly back to Hawaii and she's in awe at the nest he built. They go inside and get it on. Psych they were only kissing, but he did pull the shade down before The End, so I take it they were gonna get it on.

Well it looks like this sorta thing doesn't just exist these days. Thoughts?

Hail Satan!!! HAIL SMM SMM!!!!