The Amusement Cemetary

It all started in some weird city building.

I did not recognize this building. Nor did I recognize any of the people I was with. There had been some kind of strange thing going on. I wasn't sure if I was reading a book or not, or maybe a voice was narrating something strange into my head. But it was about a serial killer who had been killing children and putting their dead bodies on the rides of an old abandoned amusement part. All I recall was the last sentence in the book was The dead children were found marinated on the merry-go-round. Then there was a part two. Back in the building again, some chubby kid with black hair and a girl asked the receptionist if we could see the merry-go-round. She told us we could. We had to crawl on this track that kinda reminded me of those carts that miners use underground. This was more like a fun house sort of thing. This was the strangest fun house amusement park I had have ever been. The place looked like a regular house. We went into a bedroom with a funny closet door. Mind you, no one is suppose to trespass here, so I don't know why the receptionist allowed us to go in there. The was an office door with a funny clock that had the numbers 1-10. Somehow it winded up and counted ten seconds. A toy clown knocked on the door. I guess we were suppose to open it. I think the chubby kid opened it. Well, like one of those wheels you put a deck of cards on, they were seats to a ferris wheel. But spinning vertically in the the little door way. Each seat revealed, there was a dead child in it. Except one seat had a grown man in it. He was also dead. I just stood there wondering how nobody had found this place and why there were dead children in here. The other odd thing was that all the children were black. Including the man. We had all backed out of the room, into the hallway. A door behind us opened and we immediately took off back to that miner cart thing. Me in the lead. We ran because this was suppose to be abandoned. No one was suppose to be there. We weren't even suppose to be there. The whole thing just got weirder. There was a room that read Bloody Torture Chamber. I opened it and it was just and empty room with a bloody coat hanger dangling from a string from the ceiling. Just a bunch of us were scoping out this place. Someone was still killing and someone had been staying in this place. I found outside one door a brand new pair of Nikes. And there was a Mud Changing Room that someone also had been in there. I never did find out who were the killers. All I know is, the rides in the park were not completed.....

Spider's Journey Through Sword Swallowing: AT LAST! My throat is complete again!

Finally! Through all the months of actually gagging, regurgitating, headaches, nose aches, and sword throats, I finally succeeded on Tuesday night. It feels like giving Excalibur back to the Lady of The Lake. :) 

I would also like to let you all know, that it did NOT take me just 3 days to swallow a sword. It took me several months. I personally do not have much of a gag reflex. So that part was easy. I kinda skipped ahead cuz I didn't wanna keep logging my bodily fluids lol. The journey however isn't over. There will be more entries. 

Spider

Human Hater

People are everywhere. They're at the bus stop with me. They're on the bus with me. They're at work with me. They're everywhere. I judge by the cover. Everyone does no matter who says they don't. I look at a person sometime and automatically think they're a fucking douchebag moron. And then when I actually talk to them, I find that they are. Very seldom is it a mistake. Anyhow, I don't have many friends. Followers and acquaintances, yes. But not many friends. These people don't have my back. These people don't hang with me. Hell, these people wouldn't talk to me if I didn't first. They just like the idea of me. If I wasn't a clown, or daring, or good looking, or outspoken, or just a bad ass, they'd give me the time of day. They just like the idea. People wanna talk to me, so that they can tell their friends "Hey I know the hula hoop girl!" Or "I'm friends with the fire swallower girl!". Ha! No you're not! To all the people claiming to be my friend or saying that you are: I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING FRIEND! You are phony, fake, counterfeit, stupid, and a rancid sack of shit!!! The ones who I call friends know who they are. But the rest of you mean absolutely nothing. Hopefully Satan curses you and you catch diseases. Hail Satan!!!!

What the voices had to say today

After a painfully passionate night, I finally went to sleep. The voices decided that they wanted to send me odd illusions. The polar bear was sniffing me. It was memorizing my scent of witch and voodoo. I got away from the bear and walked outside to see the van full of children pulling out of the driveway. A little girl, no more than three, managed to open the sliding door. I don't know exactly how she fell in front of the back wheel, but she did. The van back out over her stomach and rib cage. The driver felt the bump, the child was crying. She was twisted and broken, but still alive. I ran over and got into the van. A little boy tried jumping out of the window, but I quickly closed it so he couldn't. Me and the blind girl were laughing and taking pictures together. I let her try on my clothes and showed her how beautiful she was. I ran into the Catholic church and stole a crucifix and a vial of holy water. The priest caught me and I apparently let him keep my driver's license as a reimbursement. The unclean spirit had to be laid to rest. A proper burial. The hole was dug and I threw the skeletal remains in it. Along with the cross and the holy water. The sound of the boat fire alarm filled the room.

My Evil Face

Ever since I was a little demon seed, I have been told that I give nasty looks. If I don't smile, I look mean and like a witch. I have a face that has made people flinch because of my killer looks. Sometime I like to glare at people whenever they try talking to me. It's funny to me, because who thought my regular face, would make people uncomfortable and a little frightened. That is probably why people find me intimidating. That and my clothes. I like being mean and making people feel uncomfortable anyhow. It's just gives me a kick. As a satan clown, I can be evil and happy. I call my face my Voodoo Dollface. I am Haitian, so the voodoo part works out well :-).

Voices and Mayhem

Since I was small, before I could even speak, I've heard these voices. They aren't just in my head, they surround me. Sometimes they whisper, sometimes they yell at me. Sometimes they sing to me or speak in other languages. I don't tell anyone they are talking to me. My body can also move without me controlling it. It gets up at night on it's own and pours a glass of water. It makes itself a sandwich and it looks out the window. I am aware of what is happening, but I can't stop it. Then it becomes cataleptic out of nowhere. I believe there are other people or something that live inside of me. They don't take over all the time, but when they do, it's interesting to me. I'm not scared. I will share what they do. I will introduce you.

Incognita

Today it is 6° and sunny in Curmudgeon City. The peasant is confined in the tower of her normal people job. She awaits the conclusion of her stressful boring work day. The place reeks of burnt almonds and old people. No one recognizes her, but she knows all of them. After the work day, the peasant is off to cause mischief and nefarious acts :-). Stay tuned for she does next....

Curmudgeon City

I'm a city girl. I come from one of the most greatest cities in the world, NYC!!!! Now I currently reside in a not so wonderful backwoods city -_-. It's completely close minded and everyone is basically the same to me. Every place can be like that, don't get me wrong. But anyone coming from somewhere different to a new place might feel the same. I get made fun of or people are shocked by my appearance, because of my dress style. I'm not sorry for not being your typical hipster chick conforming to my surroundings,  and then claiming to be unique. Hence hipster curmudgeons -_- I'm pretty sure there are a bunch of you who feel like I do. I'll be sharing more stories.

~Spider

The Six Impossible Things I believed Before Breakfast

1. I can swallow swords while being demonically possessed.

2. I can have a tea party on Mars.

3. If I focus hard enough, I can use my telekenesis to force the snow out of the sky.

4. I can do a back bend on the tip of the Chrysler Building.

5. I can get through the day without growling at people.

6. That I can transform into Satan whenever I want during the day.

Purveyor of Pulchritude 💀 🎃 💀 😈 🎃 💀 😈 🎃 💀 😈 🎃 💀 😈 🎃 💀 😈

Hola and Hail Satan!!!!

So why Satan? You all may wonder? Why would anyone worship the devil? To most people devil worship is like regular God Worshipping, a joke! Well I'm here to explain how it goes with me. I worship Satan the Devil. I believe in God, but I do not worship him. I am against him. I oppose him and his son Jesus Christ by embracing my sinful nature. Real satanists like myself knowingly do this. We are not atheists and illuminati douchebags. So if you are one, we are not on the same page. In Satan, I can live my life and not repent for my sins. Why should I? I didn't ask to be here! None of us did. So why create more imperfect people, instead of fixing it? God is playing a sick game with us. In fact, he blesses the very people who twist his so called word. Christians, Catholics, all the same. Just different titles. They're both trinitarians. They call themselves people of God, yet they are the most judgemental. In Satan, there's no need to judge, because we are all wicked!!! We can do what we fucking want to! So hail Satan now or stick to waiting on the lame ass Yaweh prayer line? 😈🎃 💀 😈🎃 💀 😈🎃 💀 😈

Return of Meeeee!!!

Hola Again!!!!

It's Mistress Spider here. Boy has it been a while. Don't worry I promise to be more regular! What have I been up to? A lot since 5 years ago lol. Between the time I last posted and now, I've been in school and working. I've owned about 8 different tarantulas and a scorpion. Now I currently perform sideshow acts and have been pursuing a circus career! And I can't forget about my continous Satan worship!!! I'll be sharing the goods don't worry! I want you all to meet my kids! My oldest tarantula is a Chilean Rose Hair named Izzy. My middle child is a Venezuelan Green Bottle Blue named Jellybean. Last, my youngest is a Chaco Golden Knee named Leeloo Dallas. Izzy and Leeloo are females. Jellybean is a male.